Music Ministry Moments

Every now and then I like to sit and reflect on all the crazy people and things that we have all experienced through our wonderful church music group. Today, I am struck by how funny and absurd most of it has been, so the following is not a rant. It’s just a light hearted trip down memory lane. So, don’t take any of it personally! (You know who you are!) It’s good to laugh at ourselves every now and then!

Remember this…

Cantors and Other Divas and Devos

Girls who like to sing Madrigal songs ALL the time!

Over-sensitive Sopranos.

The Mariah Carey wannabe.

Tenors who walk out because their mics “aren’t on”.

The male cantor who was verbally abusive on the phone when he was demoted. Needless to say, he never came back, but enjoyed nice exposure on the County Ch.1.

Cantor Kim. There have been a few. Lisa’s twin and one that Don alienated early on.

Rent a cantor. Supposedly, we were all so bad that ringers had to be called in.

A female vocalist’s father who was verbally abusive when answering the phone. “You girls are just trying to keep my little girl down!”

All the “Other” Singers

All the pitch challenged singers that ignored us when we asked them to abstain from singing at different times.

The pitch challenged singer who ruined a group recording when she sang when we asked her not to.

Singers who are blessed with natural volume but not pitch. Life just isn’t fair!

Singers who jump to conclusions and read too much into things- literally!

“I Play the Flute, That’s Why I Sing This Song…”

Flute Girl and her stage mother. “You don’t have children, so you don’t know what it’s like!” sob, sob.

The flute player who kept joining and quitting the group when something better came up

The three flautists. Oy vey! Diva central.

The commitment phobic flautist. Run away…

Other Musicians…I Mean Instrumentalists

The clarinet player and his stage mother. “I need a mic. My mom can’t hear me.” That’s funny; the rest of the church hears your snake charming just fine!

The ADD guitar player who couldn’t read music, but had rock star dreams. Be careful jumping off that amp!

The bass player who had a thing for just about every young lady in the group. Age don’t mean a thing!

The bass player who keeps taking out of state jobs.

The cello player who could play wonderfully but couldn’t graduate.

“I Don’t Wanna’ Work, I Just Wanna’ Bang on the Drum All Day”

The bongo player who stopped coming.

Rhythmically challenged tambourine players!

Here’s a really old one…The crazy clave player who stood on the sides of her feet and made me deaf.

Freaks & Geeks

The sound guy who scared us all. If you ask him to change a level, he might knock you out! “You need to tell your bitch-ass girlfriend not to mess with the board!”

The same scary sound guy who told people that he was having an affair with one of the female singers.

The stalker sound-guy. Don’t give him your number; he will call- a lot! “I’m making a video and maybe you could be in it. I’d like to get a tape of you singing.”

Lame Excuses and Other Ways to Get Out of Mass

The overcommitted; but they swear that their schedules are about to slow down.

People who are “on a break.” (The worst thing we ever did!)

Sunday gardeners. “I can’t make it tonight. I have yard work.”

“You don’t really need me this week (i.e. I don’t like the music.), so I’m going to sit out.”

“Someone has to be home for the dishwasher repairman.”

“You’re taking the week off; I think I will too.”

Other Things We Love to Hear

“Is my mic on? I can’t hear myself.”

“I have a friend/cousin/sister who sings…”

“I must have been on hiatus when you did this song.” Argh! Must we teach the same songs over and over again?!

Broken record liturgists. “It’s not a performance! It’s not a performance!” “Don’t pick meditation songs that people might applaud.”

Way Back in the Day

Jr. High kids were once part of the group.

George and Phil. Who the hell are they again?

Two or three girls sharing one mic every week!

5:00 Mass camping trips!

Dinners at Debbie’s. “God help the man who marries you!”

Ever changing rehearsal schedules. Let’s try Sunday before Mass. Let’s try Saturday once a month. Let’s try Tuesday after school…

Learning a new Psalm 10 minutes before Mass.

Potpourri For $500, Alex

People who don’t know traditional Christmas Carols, Garth Brooks’ The River or On Eagle’s Wings. :)

People who only know songs by Jaime Cortez. “Rain down, rain down…”

Overly affectionate couples in the group.

Leaders of other groups who are harboring some resentment or envy and like to make snide little remarks.

All the people who came once or twice and we never saw them again.

People who join the group for a social outlet.

Group therapy sessions.

Lisa’s mom: our biggest fan.

The Great Debate: Youth Mass- to be or not to be…

Practically Perfect in Every Way

Diva Desiree. “It just wouldn’t be Christmas without Desiree throwing a fit!” Thanks, Louie! :)

Marital musical spats at Mass.

The glare.


I hope this was fun for most of you and probably really boring for people who don’t know anything about CTK Music Ministry. Sorry, I can’t always have general appeal! Let me know if I missed anything. I’m sure I’ve repressed- I mean forgotten- something! lol.

Little Girl

So trivial, so small
Sit; Don’t speak.
Put her under a glass on a high dusty shelf.
She’s such a pretty little girl.

Never see that she is much older than she ever wanted to be.
Youthful smiles disguise experience she could have done without.
Everyone’s worlds burden her shoulders
causing wrinkles around her heart not her eyes.
If she trips, it will all crash about her.
The jagged and unmerciful shards will cut and burn as she bleeds.

Not one with a care for her needs.
They all say that she knows nothing-
That she is nothing-
Nothing more than a silly little girl.

There's No Place Like Home

Yeah, I survived the Staff Retreat! It was an ok two days, but I was more than ready to come home. I think I had just a little too much togetherness. Here are some highlights:
We all were given at least one egg “child” to take care of during the retreat. (I had triplets- good grief!) We had to name them and take them absolutely everywhere we went. Of course, it wasn’t long before there were neglected children and kidnappings. There were ransoms and rewards, and one child met an unfortunate end when she was cooked up by her captors and served to Fr. Bill at dinner. Yes, his children were kidnapped early on. The kidnapper was not who you’d expect at all which totally floored him when it was revealed. He wouldn’t pay the ransom, so his children were never returned. We all knew who had them, so when he showed up this morning with two eggs decorated the same as his kidnapped children we all knew that he was a fraud. I can’t believe that he actually tried to pull that off! Fr. Jerry even paid a bellman to return a child to its parent’s room, so they wouldn’t know that he was involved! The entire hotel was talking about the “egg people”. We were quite a hit. Ya’ know that CTK doesn’t do anything half way or like anyone else, and this was no exception. Our retreat leader said that she had never seen a group take the egg game in the directions that we did. Crazy stuff! My children survived intact. I only left them alone in the room at night when we thought that we’d go dancing. The only flaw in that plan was that Monday nights in Mesquite, Nevada totally suck! There was absolutely nothing to do. There was no music anywhere. Most people proved to be big party animals and ran off to their rooms immediately after dinner. Some of the guys played Pai Gow Poker, but the big winner was Mary. We found her at a machine around 11:30pm and she was on a BIG roll. I kept telling her to cash-out, but she just kept winning and winning! It was amazing! She walked away from the machine a very, very happy woman. All in all, the retreat wasn’t as bad as it could have been; I don’t think I made any new friends, but I didn’t make any new enemies, so that’s a good thing.

Where the Hell Have I Been?!

I've been feeling so weird, because this is the longest that I have gone without posting. This post is even a cop-out. I have been so busy. It's nuts. Since my last post I have had another Date Day, gone to rehearsal, sorta' did a Jr. High Boys' Retreat (I couldn't really do it, because we decided that women shouldn't be present at all, but I did get it all ready to go for the team.), went to a bridal shower, had dinners with friends, did church and had a wonderfully lazy Sunday morning in bed. Too bad it's not over. I leave bright and early in the morning for a church staff retreat and won't get home until Tuesday. I am not looking forward to this trip at all. I'm sure I'll have some stories and some venting to do upon my return. It will be amazing if we can all spend a few days together without the tension eating us alive. Thank God we have cocktails at 6:30pm tomorrow. I'm sure that I'll need one (or more) by then! So, please pray that I don't open my big mouth and say something that will get me fired! Actually, I'm not a maintenance guy so my chances of ever getting fired are pretty slim.

Another Long and Lonely Wednesday

I hate Wednesdays. I really do. I don't start the day like that, but it usually ends up like this by the end. They wipe me out both physically and emotionally. I know that many people have more stressful days than me, but stress is relative. Almost every week, Religious Ed classes kill me. It isn't so much the kids (although they have their moments) but the teachers who call out an hour before they were supposed to teach. That is so irritating and irresponsible. I know that they are only volunteers, but I will never understand why people don't have an innate sense of responsibility when it comes to this stuff. Most of the time they can give more than an hour notice and they just don't. The worst thing about it is that I usually have to pull a lesson out of my ass, which isn't the best or easiest thing in the world. Good and effective teaching is all in the preparation, so when there's none you're heading up a creek without a paddle. I just live for those moments! That's part of why I quit "real" substitute teaching. On the whole, I really enjoy my job- it's just the parents and teachers that make it more difficult than I'd like at times.

The other hard thing about Wednesdays is that I see Don for maybe an hour the whole day- and that's just in passing. He leaves for his Second City gig about an hour before I get home from church. Fortunately, right now he only has one show on Wednesdays. When they go back to two shows (and I'm sure they will pretty soon) I won't see him at all, and that sucks! I'm glad that he's doing it, and I know that he's having a great time. Our Wednesday schedules just aren't very compatible. The good news is that Religious Ed classes are over in a few weeks (Hallelujah!), and hopefully I'll be able to adopt an earlier schedule for the Summer.

Now that I've cried and moaned, I think I'll curl up on the couch and lie there like a slug until Don gets home. I am incredibly fortunate for all my good fortune and opportunities and greatly appreciate all that I have, but even the best jobs and lives have their crappy moments. Nothing is ever perfect. That would definitely be nice... Here's to a sleepy but better tomorrow!

Where Were You When...?

This morning as I watched the news I was transported back to my high school choir room during my sophomore year. That’s exactly where I was ten years ago when we were told of the Oklahoma City bombing. Our spring concert was that night and it became dedicated to the victims and their families. The next morning we left for a music festival in San Francisco. It’s funny how certain events are so huge or shocking that everything that surrounds it becomes ingrained in our memory. I think that is the only concert that I can still recall almost every song that we sang. I’m even reminded of the person that I was. I was yet to hit my stride and become comfortable in my skin. My high school Super Star days were still ahead of me and I tried so painfully hard to be an authentic individual. I had to prove that I was not at all like anyone else! One news story and I am once again an awkward 15 year old.

Sometimes the world stopping moments are obvious. I’m sure we all know where we were and what we were doing on 9/11, and we knew without a doubt that life was changed forever the second the first plane crashed through the World Trade Center. But, what about today? Is April 19, 2005 one of those days? Will we look back and say, “I remember when Pope Benedict XVI was elected. I was working on a loan file when I heard about the white smoke.” I don’t know about that one. I’ll probably remember John Paul II’s death, because he was such a huge part of my Catholic upbringing. He’s the only Pope that I have known, so it’s going to be really strange seeing someone else in that role. Not that I agreed with everything John Paul II did, and I’m pretty sure that I’m not going to agree with a lot of what the new Pope stands for. In a sorta’ sad way this year has been the end of an era for me. As long as I can remember, around my birthday my dad would always tell me that he had invited both President Reagan and the Pope to my birthday party. Other notable figures would join them from time to time, but Ronald Reagan and the Pope always remained. Of course, there was always some big diplomatic or religious reason why they couldn’t make it that year. Sadly, they both passed this year without ever making it to my birthday party. Who will we invite now?

Monday Musings

Ah, it’s Monday afternoon and I have no motivation to do anything. I am plagued with this feeling more often then I would like to admit. Oh, well. I’ll blame it on the extra allergens coursing through my veins thanks to my Monday shots.

I wish that Station Casinos would change their Job Line number! Our phone number is very similar, and we get soooo many calls in error. I should start getting paid by Stations to pre-screen potential employees. They would be dinged right off that bat for not being able to read! I always know which calls are Job Line calls, too. If I choose to answer after not recognizing the caller’s last name, there is always a confused silence. I just roll my eyes and proceed to do my good deed for the day: “Were you trying to reach the Station Casinos Job Line? The number is…” I should charge Stations a re-routing fee, too. Today, I actually had a guy argue that he had called the correct number. Ummm… if he’s talking to me he obviously did not succeed in dialing the correct number. Moron! I should call Stations and tip them off about this guy. “Don’t hire him- he’s belligerent, and he can’t read!” We even heard that there may be a billboard that has our number incorrectly listed as the Job Line. Go figure!

Saver or Spender? I am most definitely a saver. I like to get my bank statements and say, “Oh look Sweetie! Look at how much money we put in the bank this month!” I get excited watching my money grow and grow. But, that’s all I want it to do. I don’t want to spend any of it even though I can. Shopping is a difficult task, because I like a lot of things, but I don’t want to spend the money to buy them! So, it was quite a surprise to my husband on Friday when I told him that I had spent X dollars on house things, clothes and shoes. Not that he minded (he’s a spender- the Ying to my Yang.). It just was not characteristic of me. Lately, I feel like I have been spending money like it’s going out of style. We have birthdays, weddings, Mother’s Day, etc. all right around the corner, so I’ve been gearing up. Alas, my binge ended today around noon. I was in the middle of an aisle at Barnes and Noble looking at the price of a particular book and in my head I said those words that I know so well, “I don’t really need to buy this book.” The saver has returned. I’m back to agonizing and justifying every purchase for a while. I can’t spend like that for long before my buyer’s remorse gets the best of me. Oh, well. I’m sure that Don will find a way to compensate! It’s funny- while I was out on my spending spree, he was agonizing over justifying the expense of a PDA. Total role reversal. Maybe, we’re balancing each other out a little. That’s not such a bad thing.

Last, but not least…my recent thoughts about PDA. I’m not talking about the hand-held computer Don bought. I’m talking about public displays of affection. I know that when some people are in love they want the whole world to know. Sure, I hold my husband’s hand and we’ll kiss in public, but never anything that would make anyone uncomfortable. That’s ok. Now, let’s say that I have to stand so close to Don that neither of us can breathe and we have to be touching each other in some way at all times. And if he’s holding me, he has to embrace me right under my breasts so that they are pushed way up and out. That’s ok, right? What if we were doing this at church with, say, 700 people watching? It’s ok, because we have a very physical relationship. If any of the above describes you and your significant other at church, please stop. Keep your physical relationship at home. I should NOT have ideas about your sex life through casual observation. It’s private for a reason, and “no” I don’t want an invitation! Yes, God created man and woman and sex and all that great stuff, but I’m sure that it would be in the Bible somewhere if He wanted it to be a team sport!

Crazy Family Story of the Week (No. 3)

I guess my last post scared people… “ OMG! She’s trying to get “smart” on us!” Ya’ know they can’t all be about big hair.

The latest installment of Crazy Family Story of the Week is an attempt to explain how I came to have such a huge extended family. Try to follow; it’s a little confusing. Keep in mind this is only one side of my family!

Way back in the 60s & 70s there were three good Catholic families growing up in a sleepy Salt Lake suburb. There was the E family (that’s mine), the R family and the B family. Each clan had somewhere between six and eight progeny (really good Catholic families!) and they all grew up together at the same Catholic school. The parents were all very good friends, so the three families did a lot together. Some were snottier than others and some were dorkier than others. They had crushes on each other and got each other in trouble- the whole bit. Well, fast forward 10-15 years. All the kids have gotten married and started adding throngs of children of their own. BIG families! My grandfather passed away in the mid-80s, and a few years later the grandmother of the R family also passed away. After that Grandpa R was determined to become a priest, but God had different plans for him! He ended up marrying my Grandma E instead! So, now two huge families are sorta’ one (there’s been a lot of resistance to the idea, so no one gets along very well.). Fourteen kids plus at least 40 grandkids makes for A LOT of Christmas shopping!

So, the E and the R family had been merged for a while, but the B family must have felt left out. It wasn’t too long before my uncle and one of the B sisters confessed that they had always had feelings for each other stemming way back to grade school. So, they got married, too! Now, the E family is connected to both the R and B families (no Rhythm but maybe a little bit of Blues). Still with me? It doesn’t end there. A few years after my uncle got married, another of the B sisters and one of the R brothers fell in love, had a baby and got married which completed this whole crazy family circle. Geez! This isn’t even my LDS Utah family! So, now all three families are connected through intermarriage. I’d draw a diagram, but I’m not that technologically advanced yet.

Long story short, our get-togethers in Utah are usually huge affairs that require renting the church gym or hanging out in a large backyard. I’m pretty sure that the intermarrying is finished. None of the grandkids care much for each other (except for the fleeting crush my brother had on one of the B granddaughters. Alas, she’s getting married this summer. I guess he still has time to work his infamous charm!). We usually ignore each other. It’s easy, because we have enough of our “own” cousins to keep us busy. Of course, every single member of each family had to be invited to our wedding which is mostly why we ended up inviting 400 people. But, if it’s not in Utah, they don’t go. Oh, well. That’s my crazy family!

"A solipsistic, self-aggrandizing journalistic-wannabe genre"

Isn’t that a great quote! I got that from an article arguing about this very piece of internet wonder: the blog. (BTW: Solipsistic means believing that only oneself exists, and that “existence” just means being a part of one’s own mental states. Good SAT word. We’ll have to start using that one. I just thought that some of you might want to know– oh, I forgot, I’m the only one around here!) Ok. Ok. I’ll admit it. When I first heard about blogging, I was not interested in the least! I thought that it was just about the dorkiest thing I had ever heard of apart from camping out for Star Wars weeks and weeks before it premieres. (Hello, it’s not going anywhere!) An on-line journal? What’s wrong with pencil and paper like everyone else does?! So, I resisted, but soon even I would be sucked in by the blog phenomena.

Back to the article (Las Vegas Review Journal, Opinion and Commentary, Wed., April 13– for any of you who still read the “real” news.). The thing that struck me about the article was the debate over whether bloggers are journalists or not. What?! Now, I’m supposed to think that I’m a journalist as-well-as God, because I have a blog? That’s pretty funny. It’s pretty funny that someone is actually upset about it. Maybe some of you do write for journalistic freedom, and that’s great. More power to ya’. However, this is just a whole lot of fun for me. I have atrocious spelling, and my brilliant Grammar skills have given way to colloquialism. I’m not trying to educate or sway anyone about anything (except maybe big hair and mini-vans!). I don’t know anyone who is… well, that’s not entirely true. David Duchovney has a blog chronicling the making of his latest film so that we all go and see it. He wasn’t the smartest guy in the FBI for nothing! (Sigh! The Thinking Girl’s Hunk.) Anyway… I’m having a great time communicating with my friends and family about our lives and stupid crap that we’d never get into “real” conversations about. And, there is a certain solipsistic, self-aggrandizing air to it all, but we have to find self-esteem somewhere! What’s wrong with the illusion that someone actually cares about what you think about Dodgeball and is hanging on your every written word? The “real” journalists are just jealous, because no one really cares what they think anymore. So, they should all get blogs and restore their shattered self-worth and bruised egos, because my sister-in-law would rather read about what I think about Jr. High kids and broken penises than what they think about blogs and the scandals in local politics. Then, they could write for the whole world, and the whole world will care and name them literary geniuses once and for all.

It’s not just the journalists… A friend of mine, who shall remain nameless out of protection for her bodily person and emotional well-being (you bloggers are a violent and vengeful lot! “The pen is mightier than the sword.”), has become concerned about the societal implications of blogs. Will no one speak face to face again? Will the hand-written letter be doomed to a Smithsonian exhibit? What horrors await us in cyber-space as blogs and instant messaging take over the world?! (OMG! I’m about to faint just thinking about it!) True; we all know that the written word lends itself to a lot more interpretation than face to face communication. A raised eyebrow speaks in one second what it would take two paragraphs to fully convey. So, I do understand the fear, but at least communication is happening. Maybe, it’s not most people’s preferred mode, but, hey, when is communication ever a bad thing? Aren’t most problems in life a result of really poor communication? So, if blogs help open the door to better communication between family and friends, I’m all for it! Too many people sit around afraid of technology and the new conveniences that it brings. Sure, there are dangers and pitfalls; now I can easily find a new friend in Germany or a “friendly” sex-offender across town. The internet requires the same user diligence and “intuition” that one would normally employ when meeting someone new. For once, I say hop on the technology train. If you’re just sitting there reading this, go start your own and don’t let those crabby, “real” journalists stop you!

Too Weak to Write, so I'll Steal a Song

This one's not about me (some of you may laugh!). It's all about interpretation...

I'm Only Happy When it Rains
-Garbage

I’m only happy when it rains
I’m only happy when it’s complicated
And though I know you can’t appreciate it
I’m only happy when it rains

You know I love it when the news is bad
And why it feels so good to feel so sad
I’m only happy when it rains

Pour your misery down, pour your misery down on me
Pour your misery down, pour your misery down on me

I’m only happy when it rains
I feel good when things are going wrong
I only listen to the sad, sad songs
I’m only happy when it rains

I only smile in the dark
My only comfort is the night gone black
I didn’t accidentally tell you that
I’m only happy when it rains

You’ll get the message by the time I’m through
When I complain about me and you
I’m only happy when it rains

Pour your misery down, pour your misery down
Pour your misery down on me pour your misery down
Pour your misery down pour your misery down
Pour your misery down on me pour your misery down
Pour your misery down pour your misery down
Pour your misery down on me pour your misery down
Pour your misery down

You can keep me company
As long as you don’t care

I’m only happy when it rains
You wanna hear about my new obsession?
I’m riding high upon a deep depression
I’m only happy when it rains
Pour some misery down on me

I’m only happy when it rains
Pour some misery down on me
I’m only happy when it rains
Pour some misery down on me
I’m only happy when it rains
Pour some misery down on me
I’m only happy when it rains
Pour some misery down on me ...

Aqua Net? What's that?!

My Jr. High kids are a surprise a minute! This time they succeeded in making me feel old. Here’s the story: We had a sleepover for 7th and 8th grade girls Friday night. We did all sorts of girly things like painting each other’s fingernails while blindfolded and creating toilet paper Prom dresses. We also had this great idea to have a Big Hair competition. So, very excitedly we pulled out cans of hairspray and mousse and tubes of gel, and the girls said, “Oh my God! I don’t ever put product in my hair!” Product? I haven't gone a day without "product" since I was ten! We just ignored that comment and told the girls to grab a comb, can of Hairspray and handful of bobby pins and have at it. Our big hair competition became a crazy hair competition very quickly. They clipped toilet paper spools to the top of their heads and tried to make funky braids stand straight-up. One girl should dress up as Queen Amidala for the next Star Wars premiere, because her hair very closely resembled the crazy hair from The Phantom Menace. As I surveyed the room I saw one foam-head girl (too much mousse), and one girl trying in vain to coax a very long piece of hair to stand straight up with the help of way too much gel. What was going on?! These girls didn’t know the first thing about mousse, gel or hair-teasing. I was amazed. So, I took comb and hairspray in hand and started instruction at the Desiree School of Big Hair. It didn’t dawn on me until much later that these 13 and 14 year old girls had no big hair point of reference! They were born after the fall of big hair. There is a whole generation that has no idea what big hair is. I could hardly believe it!

You see, big hair is a huge part of my pre-adolescent experience. I’m sure that many of you share my pain. I can’t imagine childhood without sky high bangs, the wave, the poof, side hair teased out to resemble elephant ears, side ponytails, body waves, spiral perms, crimpers– the list goes on and on. You may want to forget, but we all had big hair at sometime. If you don’t think that you did, I can find the evidence to incriminate you! My cousins were big hair queens. They were high schoolers in the late 80s and early 90s, and boy were they like radical! So, they helped teach me to create my poof bangs. Yup, long, stick straight hair with a really curly poof on top. I was bitchin’. Guys, you aren’t immune, either. Remember the mullet? I can find evidence of that one, too! Short and responsible on top; long and wild in the back! Who brainwashed us into believing that we actually looked good? It wasn’t just us kids, either; our parents got into the act too. They were never as committed, but look at those old pictures and notice the height and width differentials when compared to today. It’s there. We all cringe at our late 80s/early 90s hair memories, but we know that everyone got caught up in big hair, so it’s not nearly as dorky. We can commiserate with each other, which brings us comfort. So, how fair is it that today there is a group of kids who can laugh at our big hair and not their own? It’s criminal! Just wait… a few weeks ago, I was shopping and found myself staring at a sweater covered with rainbow hearts that was the clone of a sweater I wore in elementary school. Did you see leg warmers in the stores this winter? I did. How about fluorescent colors? Yup and going strong. Jelly bracelets and Jelly shoes? Affirmative. Trucker hats? My cousins wore those hats in the 80s because their dad was a truck driver! It’s all coming back! People have even bought and used crimpers in the past year. Big hair can’t be far behind. Now, I feel confident that I have done my job to prepare the young people for their future. I’m going to hurry and buy stock in Rave, White Rain, Dep and the mother of them all– Aqua Net! Oh, Aqua Net what would we have done without you? All the heights that wouldn’t have been possible without your aerosol wonder!

The following pictures gave me a laugh. Thankfully, I don't know any of these people!

Super Sprayed! 

Wild and Wicked! 

Really poofy! 

poofy! 

Sky High! 

Hair Love and Date Day!

I am so happy to have had a little hair love this morning. Nothing crazy– just freshening up the highlights. Have you ever noticed that no matter when your hair appointment is you always have a bad hair week leading up to it? I swear that my roots grew out over night! They seemed fine and then all of a sudden they were awful. I’ll never understand it. But, now I have bright and happy hair again. Yippee!

Hair love would have been enough to make for a good day, but it got even better because it was Date Day! Ever since we started dating, my husband and I have tried to do once a week lunch dates. He worked in an office when we first met, so in the beginning I would go meet him. Shortly after we got married, he started working from home. Then I started working all day at a bank, so he got to come and meet me for lunch on Thursdays. I think a lot of ladies in the office were a little jealous, but it did inspire some of their husbands to come around a little more often. This past Fall, I picked up my part-time church gig and decreased my bank hours to part-time as well. It turned out that we didn’t have anywhere to meet each other anymore. At first we thought that we’d still do it and just leave the house together or just eat lunch at home. It didn’t really happen that way. Every now and then we’d eat together, but it was rushed and just not the same. Well, now my husband is in an office again, so today I got to meet him for lunch for the very first time! We just went to the Deli at Fry’s Electronics (not too romantic, but pretty good food and we had some other business there). I’m really looking forward to the resurrection of Date Day. I’ve always loved it, and after not having it for a while, I realize how nice and important it was for us. We don’t know yet what day we will settle on. It will probably take a few times to figure out what works best for our schedules. I’m so excited to have Date Days to look forward to again! - Thanks for a great afternoon, Sweetie. You make me smile! :)

Ornery

It's been a nothing kinda' day: nothing bad but nothing good either!

Why do I seem so predictable to people that they feel confident enough to make decisions for me without asking first? My answer just might have been different if I'd been given a choice!

Why do people drive like they are the only ones on the road? I almost got side-swiped by "the only person on the road."

It cracks me up how self-important some people are on their blogs. Life isn't that serious! Get a sense of humor and a life- it's a lot more interesting for the reader that way.

Also blog related: people who don't post on their own blogs shouldn't be allowed to read or comment on everyone else's. Hey, if I'm giving you entertainment, you can give me some, too! :)

I wish the X-10 ghost would stop turning lights on and off in the house.

How can you have so much energy for house chores/projects one day and no energy for it for three weeks or so after?

Daylight Savings Time sucks! There I said it! I know that some of you agree- you're just not as vocal as the Sun worshippers out there. I don't think I'll get used to the time change until sometime around Halloween. Our state legislature is actually considering killing Daylight Savings Time in Nevada. Probably won't happen, but we can dream (with one less hour, for now- he-he).

Why is every allergy season "the worst ever"?

Why is every Triduum "the best ever"?

Why are you compelled to mess up the sheets on the bed right after you've washed them? :)

Does everyone "grow-up" someday? I guess not if your name is Michael Jackson. (It's called Peter Pan Syndrome.)

Are Katie, Christine and Mark ever going to get here?! Is Andy ever going to create a blog? I'd read it. I want to know what you crusty Englishmen have to say about the world. (Lights out- the X-10 ghost strikes again!)

Why do parents throw huge first birthday parties? Wait until the kid can actually remember and maybe appreciate it.

Why do some people expect college to be a continuation of High School? Get over it- the "glory days" are over.

Am I always this cranky? No- just today. I'll be Mary Sunshine again tomorrow after complaining about how much earlier 7AM feels this week than it did last week.

Here's my addition to the B------ Book of Song Lyrics
(By the way, it DOESN'T mean a thing- I just like the song. But... Laura, give me your take on it one of these days.)

Hold On
by Sarah McLachlan
Hold on
Hold on to yourself
For this is gonna hurt like hell
Hold on
Hold on to yourself
You know that only time will tell
What is it in me that refuses to believe
This isn't easier than the real thing
My love
You know that you're my best friend
You know i'd do anything for you
My love
Let nothing come between us
My love for you is strong and true

Am i in heaven here or am i...
At the crossroads i am standing
So now you're sleeping peaceful
I lie awake and pray
That you'll be strong tomorrow and we'll
See another day and we will praise it
And love the light that brings a smile
Across your face

Oh god if you're out there won't you hear me
I know that we've never talked before
Oh god the man i love is leaving
Won't you take him when he comes to your door

Am i in heaven here or am i in hell
At the crossroads i am standing
So now you're sleeping peaceful
I lie awake and pray
That you'll be strong tomorrow and we'll
See another day and we will praise it
And love the light that brings a smile
Across your face...

Hold on
Hold on to yourself
For this is gonna hurt like hell

Laundry

Colors
Cottons
Whites in hot with bleach
Cotton Poly-blend
Reds in cold- no running
Towels and sheets
Darks
Jeans turned inside out
Blue darks
Black, dark darks in cold with Woolite Dark
Delicates
Kleenex and change out of pockets
Stains Shout-ed out
Hand wash
Air Dry
Tumble Dry
High- it will shrink
Low- it will never be done
Easy Care
Wait
Buzzer
Lint
Endless socks and underwear
Hang
Fold
Match
Hamper to upstairs
Drawers and Closet- put it away
Finished
Shirts, pants and socks fall to the floor
Why is there always more?!
Another pile of dirty clothes for another laundry day

See, Mom, I really do know how to do laundry now!

Crazy Family Story of the Week (No.2)

This one is courtesy of one of my millions of cousins...

A few years ago, there was a knock on my aunt's door a few days before Thanksgiving. She didn't know the person, but she opened the door anyway. There was a young lady on the door stoop asking to see my cousin. He came to the door and the girl said, "Hi, I wanted to come by because I thought that you might want to meet your son." The girl was holding a one-or-so year old child!

About a year and a half to two years earlier my cousin was at a bar depressed about the break-up of his most recent marriage (a whole other crazy story!) and this young lady offered him a little company. Well, that one act of kindness produced the child looking up at my cousin. The girl said that she wasn't asking for any assistance and didn't want a relationship; she and her parents were getting along just fine. She just felt bad that my cousin didn't know that he had a child floating around out there and wanted to give him the chance to be a part of his life. So, the girl and the baby came to Thanksgiving dinner and I hear that today my cousin and aunt have a lot of contact with the child and are very happy about it.

Not the best situation in the world, but I have to give the girl props for recognizing that her child should be given the chance to have a relationship with his father. It would have been a lot easier to raise the child and forget about him altogether.

Things I Kinda' Know

Here are some things that I know (I think- can we really "know" anything? Anyway...) either by personal experience or the experience of others. You can guess which is which!

Blogging and instant messaging are addictive.

Arizona does not observe Daylight Savings Time. (Spring ahead tonight!)

Easter is the first Sunday after the first full moon after the first day of Spring.

Pope John Paul II died today.

Even "good" kids act up in Religious Ed.

Jr. High kids love Dodgeball.

Don't audition if you can't commit completely. (sigh)

Christopher Plummer did not sing in The Sound of Music.

If you miss your entrance, wait a few measures so that it seems planned.

It's fun to watch soap operas until your life becomes one.

Even the best relationships aren't always easy.

Friends don't just disappear, and if they do, they aren't your friends anymore.

When I look at happy pictures, it makes me remember that there are always good times.

If you have mental or emotional problems (and who doesn't?!), please see a therepist-it will help you and everyone around you.

Most people have an IQ within fifteen points of 100.

Phobias are strong, irrational fears. Don't worry unless it interferes with everyday functioning.

Don't pay full price for clothes if you can help it- the mark-up is huge and they will go on sale or clearance sooner than you think!

It's never too early to start Christmas shopping, especially if you got a deal!

Buying a new dress always makes me feel better, especially if I got a deal!

Mini-vans are underrated.

The shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

If you have a problem, go to the doctor.

Men, you can "break" your penis. (Ouch!)

Lots and lots of yogurt helps with weight loss.

If you have frequent UTIs (urinary tract infections), always have cranberry juice and cranberry pills handy.

Take good care of your piercings and they will take good care of you.

Ladies, don't complain about how much a mammogram hurts- it annoys the tech!

Ladies, small talk during a pap smear helps take your mind off what's really going on down there!

Wear your retainer, or the pain and cost of braces are just for fun. Your teeth will move!

Good and bad teeth are genetic- good for me, but bad for other people. :(

Prematurely grey hair is genetic. Hopefully it's a paternal trait , or I only have five more years of blonde! :(

Male pattern baldness is also genetic.

Germs on a cup and germs on a toilet seat are totally different!

Bleach kills the yucky stuff growing in the toilet. (Yuck!)

Water heaters and garage door openers don't seem that important until they break.

Every game is more fun if you're drinking.

Bank robbers are rarely who you'd expect- even old, old men rob banks.

Diamonds are not created equal, but they are a girl's best friend! :)

Everyone's interpretation is different.

There- just a few things that I think I know. What do you think you know? :)

Two Princesses (Part II)

A slight breeze of change blew through the kingdom as the princesses softened toward each other. And true to form, change came very slowly. It began with a smile and then a, "Hello." They were taught to be polite, after all (even to enemies!). As time drew on, it seemed that they constantly found themselves at the same functions in the same company of acquaintences. The princesses simply could not be rid of one another! The Princess of Beaconsfield did well at ignoring the Princess of Candleberry, but the fair haired princess was very haughty and the presence of a rival did not bode well with her and all the kingdom was made to know it! Eventually, she decided that she could be seen in the company of the Princess of Beaconsfield, but she and everyone else would surely know who was more fair and more talented. Naturally, the Princess of Beaconsfield did not appreciate the constant comparisons. However she was taught to have impecable manners, so when the time came for her coming of age fete, she invited the Princess of Candleberry- mostly out of obligation, but ever so slightly out of kindness. Low and behold, the princesses found that they could indeed enjoy the company of the other, especially if neither of them was compelled to sing. More invitations followed as the seed of friendship was planted and began to grow.

Since both princesses were now of age, it came time to set the course for their lives, as was customary in the kingdoms. The Princess of Candleberry was eager to fulfill her academic destiny and chose to explore the uncharted territory of the human mind and experince. For this she was not required to leave her kingdom, which pleased her. She could explore her world through books and all the while continue to grow in her reign. Not surprisingly, the Princess of Beaconsfield did not chose the same path. Books were not enough to satisfy her. She longed to explore kingdoms and experiences outside her own. She dreamed of breathing the air of new worlds that she had only seen in books. So, she began to seek out opportunites to travel outside her kingdom.

During one such opportunity, her path crossed that of the Dark Knight. He was so different than anyone she had known. He was strong, impulsive, dangerous and brooding. The raven haired princess was intrigued and fell victim to his spell. At first, the Dark Knight treated her like a queen instead of a princess. His world revolved around every breath that she took and step that she made. She was flattered and pleased to have so much attention without competition. She reveled in this new life. Yet, a time came when the Dark Knight required attention of his own. Suddenly, the Princess of Beaconsfield was gravely obligated and seemed to have no choice but to acquiesce.

To be continued...