Aqua Net? What's that?!

My Jr. High kids are a surprise a minute! This time they succeeded in making me feel old. Here’s the story: We had a sleepover for 7th and 8th grade girls Friday night. We did all sorts of girly things like painting each other’s fingernails while blindfolded and creating toilet paper Prom dresses. We also had this great idea to have a Big Hair competition. So, very excitedly we pulled out cans of hairspray and mousse and tubes of gel, and the girls said, “Oh my God! I don’t ever put product in my hair!” Product? I haven't gone a day without "product" since I was ten! We just ignored that comment and told the girls to grab a comb, can of Hairspray and handful of bobby pins and have at it. Our big hair competition became a crazy hair competition very quickly. They clipped toilet paper spools to the top of their heads and tried to make funky braids stand straight-up. One girl should dress up as Queen Amidala for the next Star Wars premiere, because her hair very closely resembled the crazy hair from The Phantom Menace. As I surveyed the room I saw one foam-head girl (too much mousse), and one girl trying in vain to coax a very long piece of hair to stand straight up with the help of way too much gel. What was going on?! These girls didn’t know the first thing about mousse, gel or hair-teasing. I was amazed. So, I took comb and hairspray in hand and started instruction at the Desiree School of Big Hair. It didn’t dawn on me until much later that these 13 and 14 year old girls had no big hair point of reference! They were born after the fall of big hair. There is a whole generation that has no idea what big hair is. I could hardly believe it!

You see, big hair is a huge part of my pre-adolescent experience. I’m sure that many of you share my pain. I can’t imagine childhood without sky high bangs, the wave, the poof, side hair teased out to resemble elephant ears, side ponytails, body waves, spiral perms, crimpers– the list goes on and on. You may want to forget, but we all had big hair at sometime. If you don’t think that you did, I can find the evidence to incriminate you! My cousins were big hair queens. They were high schoolers in the late 80s and early 90s, and boy were they like radical! So, they helped teach me to create my poof bangs. Yup, long, stick straight hair with a really curly poof on top. I was bitchin’. Guys, you aren’t immune, either. Remember the mullet? I can find evidence of that one, too! Short and responsible on top; long and wild in the back! Who brainwashed us into believing that we actually looked good? It wasn’t just us kids, either; our parents got into the act too. They were never as committed, but look at those old pictures and notice the height and width differentials when compared to today. It’s there. We all cringe at our late 80s/early 90s hair memories, but we know that everyone got caught up in big hair, so it’s not nearly as dorky. We can commiserate with each other, which brings us comfort. So, how fair is it that today there is a group of kids who can laugh at our big hair and not their own? It’s criminal! Just wait… a few weeks ago, I was shopping and found myself staring at a sweater covered with rainbow hearts that was the clone of a sweater I wore in elementary school. Did you see leg warmers in the stores this winter? I did. How about fluorescent colors? Yup and going strong. Jelly bracelets and Jelly shoes? Affirmative. Trucker hats? My cousins wore those hats in the 80s because their dad was a truck driver! It’s all coming back! People have even bought and used crimpers in the past year. Big hair can’t be far behind. Now, I feel confident that I have done my job to prepare the young people for their future. I’m going to hurry and buy stock in Rave, White Rain, Dep and the mother of them all– Aqua Net! Oh, Aqua Net what would we have done without you? All the heights that wouldn’t have been possible without your aerosol wonder!

The following pictures gave me a laugh. Thankfully, I don't know any of these people!