Winter to Spring

For once in my life, I have no easy words... Your words did not fall on deaf ears. Winter came earlier than expected. So, you think that you can fight it by continuing to wear T-shirts and keeping the coat locked in the closet. But, it's Winter all the same. Slight aquiescence by wearing a long-sleeved T-shirt, but still no coat, because it is NOT Winter! But, that harsh day came when the frigid wind whipped at my volunerable pink nose- stinging and burning. Unexpectadly, it came from the East and it came from the West piercing through my soul as only the winter wind can. I shivered and I cried as my tears turned to ice. Finally, I ran for the closet where my coat waited to envelope me in the warmth of its down. I held it so tightly around me;it was all the protection I could find from the winter wind. Finally, I was warm. My face still stung and the tears still came, but they were no longer ice. Winter continued, but the wind did subside. Still, everywhere I went I took my coat- just in case. Now, the days are warming, but Spring is just a little late. The day is coming for the coat to go back into the closet, but the warmth of my coat isn't seasonal-it's in the sun on my face and the flickering of a candle's flame. So much becomes Death's victim at the hand of the harsh Winter wind; yet, that which clings for survival has faith that Winter will become the life-giving Spring.

I don't know how to say what I feel. I'm confused, yet I understand. I'm sad and hurt, but I want to smile. I'm angry, but I share the dream. I wanted to speak, but the words wouldn't come. I want to be biased, but that isn't the truth. I'm vulernable and afraid, yet I've never been stonger in my life. I have learned so much about life, God and myself that I will never again be the person I was. Time heals wounds. The hurt will smart for a while, but I believe in love and goodness and the strength and healing that is possible, which lets me say, "Thank you. I accept."