But What I Really Want to do is Direct

That's every artistic person's dream, right? I've always laughed at those people and thought that a little talent and knowledge doesn't automatically make you a good director. In my theater life, I am an actor that likes to be directed. I never really thought that I had any imagination or creativity for blocking. The times that I've had to block myself have been such a drudgery. So, of course, I'm in yet another situation where I had the "freedom" to block myself in a few pieces for Easter Vigil. (I know, "it's not a performance", right? Sure...) For the first time in my life I have also been given the opportunity to "direct" other people. At first, I didn't think I'd be able to come up with anything. Imagine my surprise when I got focused and started telling my cast of kids exactly where, when and how to move with great animation. I actually sounded like maybe I knew something! The coolest thing was that I could picture the movement and could explain it in such a way that the real thing is very close to my imagination. I've always had a hard time translating physical ideas from my brain to reality, so I am completely flabbergasted that I have succesfully directed these kids in movement that, I think, is visually interesting and natural enough for the kids to execute with ease. Now, who knows if it will stay that way, but at least today the magic was there.

Connect

This post is actually an update on a few previous ones. Remember around Christmas when I was pondering whether to try to find some people I had lost contact with and decided to send them Christmas cards? Well, the one I sent was not to the right person because a really sweet lady wrote back saying that she didn't have a clue who I was. Ok, we're up to speed, although I still haven't written back to that lady. I need to do that soon. Today I began my normal routine of checking everyone's blogs, my email and my myspace and what do you know: Norma found me!!!! I couldn't believe it. I guess it was just time. Isn't it funny how life works that way sometimes? I have two other friends that I would also like to reconnect with soon. I saw the uncle of one of them the other day. He urged me to just pick up the phone and call her. We'll see.. I don't know if I'm ready for that yet. Anyway, I am very excited to hear about what Norma's been doing for the last eight or so years. Pretty cool.

Too Old for That

In my great pondering and philosophizing, I have come to the conclusion that there just some things that people should not wear once they reach a certain maturity level. Last night as I waited in line at McDonald's, the woman in front of me was wearing a super short scrap of stretchy cotton fabric across her butt (complemented by an ornamental ruffle) and a tight hoodie sweatshirt. She looked like she had just stepped out of the hall of one of the local high schools. The problem was that she had to have been in her late 30s/early 40s and had a couple of kids in tow calling her,"Mommy". She was way too old to be masquerading as a teeny-bopper at McDonald's with California plastered over her butt. She was one of those women that you can tell at first glance takes way too much time on her appearance. She had trendy hair, a super fake tan and looked as if she had implants and probably goes to the gym everyday. So, yeah, she had a good body for her age, but why do women feel that a good body and the clothes of a 16 year old go hand in hand? I couldn't help but chuckle at her, not because I was jealous but because I thought that it was sad that she was trying so hard to hold on to youth that she'd probably be better served by letting go.

I completely understand wanting to keep up with the fashion trends and by no means am suggesting that once you hit adult or motherhood it's time to break out the moo-moos, flowery blouses and polyester pants with elastic waistbands. However, there is a point when only teens should be wearing some things, and we should all feel relieved that we are exempt. This woman seemed to equate youth with sexiness or hipness when that couldn't be further from the truth. She would have looked much better and more respectable as a mother and adult woman if she had picked a more classic outfit that showed off her assets and employed some accessories to fill the youthfully trendy need. My boss at the bank does this masterfully. She is, daresay, in her late 50s/early 60s and is an impeccable dresser. She keeps up with the trends better than just about anyone I know and she makes them work for her in a very "with-it" yet classy way. Every outfit she owns is well-tailored and well-made (of course, she doesn't have any trouble with the cash flow needed to buy well-made designer stuff.). Her accessories are always perfect and never out-dated. She would not be caught dead in polyester pants or a moo-moo like many of her peers. In one word, she is class. The point that I am trying to illustrate is that you can keep with the trends and look good at any age without borrowing clothes from your nieces, daughters or grandaughters.

I'll admit that I do still shop in the Juniors section. However, it is definitely not because I love the styles. Many women's sizes and makes are still just a little too big and boxy for me, so it's easier to just stick with what I know. However, I would never dream of wearing some of the things the kids are now. If I can remember the first time it was popular, I have no business wearing it now! I think that women should be proud of their age. A woman can be much more provacative and sexy if she leaves the California booty skirt at home and classes it up a little.

Foot note conversation: What is up with the shorts and skirts with sayings all over the butt anyway? I thought they were kinda' cute when all you saw was "Hot Stuff", etc. Now it seems like butts are a walking billboard, too. You can get Mickey Mouse on your butt, Navy on your butt, (insert state name here) on your butt. The one I always cringe at is "Juicy". Why in the world do you want to advertise a lower bowl problem like that? Wouldn't that be the antithesis of sexy? It just brings all the wrong images to my mind. Hey, maybe Pepto has a pair of shorts with their logo on the butt. Yuck.

Boys are Different than Girls

At the risk of sounding stereotypical, I have just a few gender observations from the last few weeks' activities.

The Boys' Retreat has officially closed for the year and has provided me with examples of how Jr. High boys and girls are very different:

1. Boys have a much shorter attention span. Although, I'm not sure I'll ever truly understand how they can't seem to listen to anyone for more than five minutes but can sit mesmerized by video games for hours.
   
2. Girls are more relational. They channel their energy into talking and listening to friends and adults they trust.
   
3. Neither boys or girls like "lights out", but the girls just giggle and talk all night while the boys try to kill each other and destroy anything that isn't bolted to the ground.
4. The boys think it's fun to beat the crap out of their friends. This, too, I do not understand. "Hey, you're my best friend, let me throw a ball in your face." ?
5. Girls seem to accept rules and responsibility better than the boys. Each boy tries to be an exception and gets upset when called out for it.
   
6. The boys accept room assignments better than the girls do. The boys don't seem to play the exclusivity game the way girls do. If you want to create drama at a girls' function, put a bunch of catty girls in a room with one girl they don't know or like. OMG. I never thought I'd hear a kid tell me that it wasn't Christian to put a girl she didn't know in her room. That took a lot of restraint on my part!
   

Sure, I'm a girl, so this seems a little biased. Remember that I'm talking about Jr High kids, too. I really appreciate my boys, but enjoy them on a one-on-one basis. Lately, when they get in large groups together it's a nightmare. I know that individually many of them are very bright and responsible, caring young men. I guess they just don't want the other guys to know! lol. Or maybe it's just too much Testosterone for one room.

So, now let's talk about adults:

Only women can sit in a room and watch another woman outfit her home for marriage or baby through the generosity of others. I'm sure that men could figure out there own kind of showers, but even then, I don't see a bunch of men coming to a tool party. "Hey, Ed, that is the very best crescent wrench that money can buy. Hope you enjoy it's ease of use. It saved my life." That just wouldn't happen. Guys borrow much better than women do. Guys don't need their friends to outfit the garage, because between dads, brothers, in-laws, and friends someone will have what they need. They don't care if it's used, it works!

Strip clubs really are for men. I attended a bachelorette party last night, and we made a stop at Sapphire for their male revue. I had never been to a strip club before. I will not be frequenting it. I wasn't grossed out. I was just very aware of how much they bilk you at these places. It was $25.00 to get in, lap dances (I didn't get one. I would have laughed the entire time.) were $20.00 plus tip and drinks were ridiculous. For what? Women don't really get off on seeing mostly naked men sauntering around. The only thing that I could think of was that the only guy I really wanted was my husband. One of the girls made a comment that here we were surrounded by gorgeous, well-built men and the only men we could think about were our own. So, that whole intimacy thing held up. There were horny, desperate women there who bought lap dance after lap dance. Everyone else was in a large group of girls who would egg each other on. I will say that the men did do a show in which they were sensitive to the women's mind as errogenous zone. They did all these fantasy skits before actually taking it off and going for the bills. They were really cheesy, but much better than, "Hey, ladies, look at my big package jiggling up and down." There was a lot of that, too, but it wasn't as gratuitous as I had expected.

The women's area was not too busy for a Saturday night, but as we left the room we had to walk through the men's area which was absolutely packed! There was no show. The stripper girls looked totally bored, but the men didn't care. So, it really is a visual thing. However, Don, who was at the bachelor party at a different strip club, said that all the clubs do is take your money and leave you really frustrated. We witnessed that as we were walking out and some strip club cassanova propositioned us for a lap dance. Um, sure. Dude just got all worked up watching the untouchable strippers and wants to grind on female patrons for free. What a jerk. Yuck.

Men and women in the club scene:

Next stop was Tabu Ultra Lounge at MGM. We were all totally ready to dance the night away. So, the bride and I found a spot on top of a table and started boogying down. Like strip clubs, the girls I know like to go to clubs to dance and hang with their girlfriends. It's a girl bonding thing. I have no doubt that hooking up happens every night, but not in my circle. So, Brigitte and I are having a great time dancing together and all of a sudden this drunk Mexican guy appears next to us. I guess he had been watching and decided that our hip swiveling was enough invitation. Next thing I know, this dude I have never met or spoken to in my life grabs me and tries to kiss me! Ew! I totally refused, pushed the guy away and cried to Brigitte to save me. Thankfully, she did. So, since when was dancing in the general vicinity of someone an invitation to make out? Is it a guy thing or a drunk thing? I couldn't really tell.

I think another difference between girls and guys in the social scene is that unless a girl is really out to get some action, girls have each other's back. No matter how drunk they are, girls make sure their friends are ok and accounted for. Guys aren't the same. They have a great time with you, but if you're all of a sudden not there, they assume you went off and got lucky or went home. They don't really worry about where you really are or if you're ok. I know, that's a big generalization. I'm just basing it on the collective experience of last night.

Also, women are more selective and catty about which girls they'll go out with or not whereas men seem to operate under the more the merrier idea. It's probably because men just don't get into the stupid drama like women do. Good for you!

So, there are my observations and generalizations about my experiences with men and women recently.

NAU Sister

Katie, this one's for you. It's not my best pic ever, but I wanted to show you that I chose to support NAU during our March Madness Fun Night last week. I don't have a clue how they (or any other team) are doing in the conference. If Purdue does well, Debbie will let us know. That's the extent of my NCAA knowledge. But, the shirt's cute.

Litany

Keeping with the theme and the season, here are my scrutenies (just a little early).

Deliver me from stress.
Deliver me from anger.
Deliver me from resentment.
Deliver me from disappointment.
Deliver me from the control and manipulation of others.
Deliver me from holding on to the past.
Deliver me from naivete.
Deliver me from poor body image.
Deliver me from lack of motivation.
Deliver me from feeling overwhelmed.
Deliver me from being so sensitive.
Deliver me from caring too much about people who care too little.
Deliver me from indecision.
Deliver me from hurt feelings.
Deliver me from confusion.
Deliver me from stagnation.
Deliver me from that which does not bring me life.
Deliver me from self-righteousness.
Deliver me from being misunderstood.
Deliver me from constantly feeling I must prove my worth.
Deliver me from insecurity.
Deliver me from fear.

Amen.

Exodus

This is the first anniversary of Fairy Tales and Mythology of Goddess Desiree, so since the Goddess chose Genesis to begin all of this it seems appropriate to begin the next chapter with Exodus. Foolishly, she thought that transition and change could be contained in the measurement of time. It seems as though a transition year has grown into a transition period. Where will she finally land? What does the land of milk and honey hold for her? Are we already there? She should just appreciate the journey and the life and death she is part of along the way. At least, she's not alone. She needs to find her voice and her stage again- reawaken what has slumbered too long. Maybe she will finally return to her studies so that her view of life might actually do someone some good. Maybe someday she'll be understood; maybe not. After all, she can be quite a contradiction with fractured and conflicting thoughts and actions. But, aren't we all a little complex? All she really knows is that she can't stand still. It's really not that bad, she's just a sensitive soul trying to find the balance between herself and everyone else.

DISCLAIMER: For those of you who do worry about me from time to time, I really am fine. I'm just being introspective. I can't be all depressed, I have March Madness Fun Night with the kiddies tonight! Yippee!